You Have Your Clique…but do you have the Gospel?

This weekend I was talking with a dear friend about the dangerously unhealthy implications of cliques in churches. We talked about what is being communicated when we huddle together exclusively with folks who are ‘just like us’ according to the flesh. This subject has been rattling around for three plus days now and I figured that I would try to work it out a bit (one of the main reasons for this blog).

At the heart of the church of Jesus Christ is the reality of unity. We are united in and through Jesus Christ. This comes to be emphasized when God calls people from various backgrounds, cultures and ages to come together and sing the harmonious message of Christ’s supremacy in their lives.

However, when we step back and look at our congregations, and even our own friendships, do we not see concentrations of people who share many of the same earthly preferences?

For example, I like to hang out with my family, play and watch sports, talk theology, and laugh a lot. As I look at those people I spend time with do they all like to watch and play sports? Are there people that I hang out with that do not share the same hobbies? Do I spend time with older people or single people or people who watch Nascar and drink Light Beer?

It should be said at this point that I do not think there is anything wrong with having friends that enjoy the same types of things as you do. However, as a Christian we should never unite on the basis of anything above the gospel and we should not exclude people or isolate ourselves from people who love and cherish the same Christ. To put it another way, I have to ask myself if the basis for my friendships and relationships are earthly or eternal.

Many of us are extremely biblical and God-centered in our creeds, but regrettably exude a rank man-centered, self-pleasing, earth-clinging practice with our relationships.

Imagine with me the early church and its convergence of different cultures to the Lord’s Table. Colossians 3 paints the picture that there are no distinctions between, “Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all.”

Most of these categories are self-explanatory. However, the Scythians are the wild card. These cats were bad news. From what I have read, the Scythians were professional killers. They were worse than barbarians. To use a contemporary illustration, they would make Al Qaeda look like boy scouts! They killed tribes of people, drank their blood and used their sculls for bowls and peeled off skin for napkins.

And Paul says, “You are one in Christ. Go ahead and sit next to them. Talk with them. Share a meal with them.”

We like people that look like us, act like us, like what we like, and are similar to us; however, the Christian life is just not that neat. The point of the gospel is not to unite people according to the flesh, but rather to unite people in Jesus Christ. If I am a cliquey person then I am enjoying exclusive relationships with folks while also excluding others whom Christ has brought together. I have just unwittingly undermined a major aspect of what Christ has bought in and through his gospel! I have promoted my personal preferences to a position of supremacy and put the gospel in position of submission. This should not be.

As Paul says in Colossians, “Christ is all, and in all.”

This is it. It is Christ. My motive for relationships with other believers should be Christ and my desire for our time together should be the pleasure of Christ. If I have somehow flipped this on its head, replacing Christ and his pleasure for my own then I am a flaming idolater, worthy of a hearty rebuke. This idolatrous inversion is seen clearly in many church cliques but more subtly in our use of time in relationships.

The burden is to be Christ-Centered and Gospel-Boasting in everything with everyone. We should see our relationships, ranging from the close intimate friendships to perhaps the more casual relationships in our congregations, with the priority of making much of Christ, magnifying his power by preserving and promoting unity in him.

If you are a ‘cliquey’ person, get over yourself and fall in love with Christ and trumpet his unity producing gospel.

If you are not being intentional about relationships, make it a priority to exalt Christ with what you have eternally in common with folks. This will no doubt forge greater humility and love in Christ.

Possibly Related posts:

1. Does Ecumenicalism Undermine Biblical Unity? (part iii) :: promoting biblical unity
2. Universal Unity is Possible, but not Advisable
3. Should the Gospel Make You Happy?
4. A Wee-Little Gospel
5. D.A. Carson video on the Gospel (from the Gospel Coalition Conference)

8 Responses to “You Have Your Clique…but do you have the Gospel?”

1. Barry says:

   July 29, 2008 at 7:58 pm

   Great posting dude. I wanna hang wit you. LOL.. You prompt an interesting challenge here. It is too natural for us to congregate in like-minded groups. We tend to gravitate to those who have acknowledged their love for us by spending time with us. One of the elders at our local church mentioned to me in conversation that he had been challenging himself to approach folks who stood out from groups that were gathered together, or new folks to try and get them plugged in. I used to make it a practice to go introduce myself to folks I had never met during the meet and greet portion of the service. But I have since fallen back to talking with the folks seated around me. I may just start that up again.
2. Christopher Lake says:

   July 29, 2008 at 8:27 pm

   Thank you for this post, Erik. Some of the the most mature, helpful Christian men that I have met have given me this same counsel– get to know Christians who are not “just like you.” It grates against the sinful flesh, but I know from experience, when this counsel is lived out, it helps one to really grow as a Christian. Perhaps even more importantly, when we have friendships with other Christians who are not “just like us,” it provides a clear example of the power of the Gospel to a watching world. Do we see ourselves primarily as movie buffs/music fans/sports enthusiasts, etc. who happen to Christians, or are we Christians who enjoy certain things but are not defined by them? What we do in the area of friendships will help to answer that question– and possibly show us something about our own hearts.
3. NP says:

   July 30, 2008 at 7:24 am

   Good post.
   As Martin Luther once wrote, ?A Christian man is the freest lord of all, and subject to none; a Christian man is the most dutiful servant of all, and subject to every one.?
   and
   “Here is the truly Christian life, here is faith really working by love, when a man applies himself with joy and love to the works of that freest servitude in which he serves others voluntarily and for naught, himself abundantly satisfied in the fullness and riches of his own faith. “
4. John says:

   July 30, 2008 at 4:46 pm

   I understand.

   Church for me has never been about the social aspect. Associating with people who are not like you emphasizes what you have in common — Christ. He is the only thing you have in common.

   I hate clique-ness in the church. As a single man, it freezes you out and you feel like you don’t belong.
5. Ibukun says:

   July 30, 2008 at 6:06 pm

   The spirit of the Lord has justly chastised me through your post. Praise God!
6. Ethan Jones says:

   August 4, 2008 at 6:00 pm

   Inasmuch as it is natural for humans to gravitate toward those with whom they agree and identify with the most, it doesn?t follow that it?s right (at least all the time), especially if it?s at someone else?s expense.

   Having been on the receiving end of being excluded from just about every social group my own age, I believe I can offer an opinion on this subject that is, with all due respect, more grounded in reality.

   The simple fact is that cliques form in churches where church discipline is sorely lacking. This is especially the case where the bulk of the membership is wealthy. A church I attended years ago had one particular family in which the father was, and still is, a major real estate developer in my home town. His teenage daughter also attended this church and, despite her evangelical veneer, was one of the most lecherous people I had ever met. She got away with it too because she was attractive and popular, and I?m sure that if the pastor said anything, her father would intervene and threaten to cut off the cash flow.

   Of course, if I ever said or did anything that was out of order, I got into trouble. Interesting double standard, eh?

   Mark Driscoll, in one of his recent sermons, said that soft words make hard hearts. I believe he?s absolutely right. Pastors let their congregations off too easy. Stupid parents also make the dumbest excuses for their children?s misbehavior. They?ll say things like ?it?s natural?, ?they?re just teenagers?, ?it?s a part of growing up?, ?at least my kid?s not a loser?, etc., etc. Suffice it to say, if the parents effectively give their children carte blanche to do whatever they want, they will, no matter what the consequences are or who they hurt in the process.

   The solution to all of this is simple: give the authorities in the church the power the Bible assigns to them. People who continue in sin AND are unrepentant about it should, in no uncertain terms, be approached and warned that if they continue in this behavior they will be excommunicated from the church. It?s funny how when the gauntlet is finally thrown down, these people mysteriously disappear and find another church more to their liking.

   Something else to consider: when your pastor starts assuming his responsibility and acting like he ?has a pair?, you need to back him up, because he will be attacked. Right now, my pastor is starting to flex his muscles and I intend to be there to defend him when the time comes. It will help to keep him from quitting when the going gets tough.
7. tom harvey says:

   August 12, 2008 at 7:21 am

   wow… i can relate to this post. it is one of the aspects of my christianity that showed my wife and i that we were a bit different from much of the people we talked to on Sunday.
   i am not saying that if you belong to a clique your not a christian…but i do think that it should represent goats rather than sheep.
   how many times people had asked me “how’s it going?”. how many times would those same people avoid me in the future when i answered the question honestly.
   when you are an honest, open follower of Christ people will be turned off.
   when you refuse to put on “the face” in church people won’t know how to react!
   if you have family, like mine, that struggles financially from time to time it can be even worse!
   so my wife and I make an effort in church to spend time with those who are maybe a bit “unlovely” or are completely different from us
   let’s face it….there are people in church, and people who call themselves christians for all the wrong reasons. for some it’s about looking smart, for others it’s all about jockying for position, and for others it can be a social circle.
   the truth is that it’s all about Christ and we are to manifest His love by loving one another.
   it can be a very hard thing to do!
8. Judy says:

   November 6, 2009 at 10:53 am

   Thanks for this blog! God has been dealing with me in this area of my life lately. So it was really nice to read it out like that. It was put very nicely. I believe it to be the truth!