I Can Relate…

Over the last several months I have experienced numerous emotional extremes with respect to the prospect and the pursuit of church planting. I have found myself frightened, excited, overwhelmed, encouraged, apprehensive, confident, and anxious (sometimes simultaneously). It is truly a freakishly phenomenal thing. As a result of where I am right now, in the planning stages of rolling out a new ministry, I find Tim Keller’s words concerning his own church plant familiar and encouraging:

A great darkness descended on me, because I knew I had no good reason not to [plant in NYC], but I felt totally inadequate for the job. I know that everyone feels inadequate for any ministry, but this was different. I knew that I was as humanly well-equipped as anyone to try this ministry, but I also knew this was well beyond the human abilities of anyone at all. That meant only one thing: it would not be my talent, but my love for, and dependence on, God that would be the critical factor in the project. I felt that my spirituality would be laid bare for all (worst of all, for me) to see. But the opportunity was too ripe and I also knew it was a door that might not be open for even a few more weeks…

I prayed and was reading Gurnall’s A Christian in Complete Armour one day and came upon a passage: “It requires more prowess and greatness of spirit to obey God faithfully than to command an army of men; more greatness to be a Christian than a captain.” I realized that if was an illusion to imagine that I would have to start being brave if I took this job; I should have been living bravely all along. Even if I turned the NYC church down, I could not go back to being a coward. So I might as well go to New York! On July 1, [1988], I gave Westminster Seminary a year’s notice. Immediately, my prayer life broke open like never before. I did not wonder why.

(h.t. steve m)

Possibly Related posts:

1. Why I Can Relate to Lazy International Missionaries (and hate it)
2. A Sign for This Time
3. Jesus Preached with Clarity to those who could not Hear
4. A Bible Reading Movement
5. The Nashville Conference on The Church and Theology

7 Responses to “I Can Relate…”

1. The Fudge says:

   February 13, 2008 at 3:21 pm

   Amen, brother. I feel that.
2. wisecarver says:

   February 13, 2008 at 3:32 pm

   My prayer has been and always will be that you will have all pride revealed and taken away as you go about the Lords work in building His body. I pray you never loose the feelings of being frightened, excited, overwhelmed, encouraged, apprehensive, confident, and anxious.
3. erik says:

   February 13, 2008 at 3:39 pm

   Fudge, If you weren’t feeling this too then you aren’t in the game. Glad to have someone to share spiritual Rolaids with.

   Wise, this is why I am more and more thankful for your friendship. I also cannot believe that you have been able to pull away from the cosmopolitan scene there in Wichita and read this blog…it must be a rainy day or something.
4. anthony says:

   February 13, 2008 at 11:22 pm

   Hey erik, I don’t know you but I have been reading your blog for sometime. I look forward to hearing how OBC’s church plant does via your blog in the future. If your fears humble you and make you seek the sovereignty of God then you know you’re on the right track, and if you’re thinking along the same lines of Keller then you are in good company. Godspeed to you.
5. David Jordan says:

   February 14, 2008 at 9:57 am

   Erik,
   Thanks for sharing. I’ll wait to see all this unfold for God’s glory alone! Having been a part of a church plant, I can relate to each of these feelings. Keep us posted! God bless.
6. erik says:

   February 14, 2008 at 10:34 am

   I appreciate the encouragement fellas.
7. Toby says:

   February 17, 2008 at 6:17 pm

   Erik,

   I have witnessed your gift in the pulpit both to preach and to evangelize so am excited to see how God will use His gifts in you in the future.

   Toby